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There are a lot of men out there who need help with a very personal problem, but they are afraid to do anything about it. This is because the topic of erectile dysfunction is about as terrifying to face as an appointment with a divorce lawyer, so they try to avoid it altogether. Unfortunately, erectile dysfunction affects not only men, but it also affects their spouses as well, so this makes it impossible to avoid indefinitely. Sooner or later the topic of sex (or lack thereof) will come up at the dinner table, and then they must face the problem head on. That is usually when the name Viagra enters the conversation, and they better be ready to make an informed decision on whether or not to use it. Viagra was invented by a team of scientists in the late nineteen nineties, and it was approved for sale by the FDA (food and Drug Administration) on March 27, 1998. It was considered to be a breakthrough discovery in the medical and science worlds, and the inventors won the Nobel Prize for this invention. They had essentially discovered that when a man gets an erection a chain reaction occurs in the tissue of the penis which causes the levels of a substance called cyclic guanosine monophosphate (cGMP) to be elevated. When the level of this substance remains high, the penis remains erect. They also discovered that an enzyme called phosphodiesterase-5 (PDE5) breaks down cGMP. They found that the cGMP levels tended to breakdown rapidly in some men, and this was the cause of their sexual dysfunction problems. The key to sustaining an erection was to maintain high levels of cGMP for a long period of time, so they invented a drug that would inhibit the levels of the enzyme PDE5. This would allow the cGMP levels to remain high, which would sustain an erection for a long period of time. Before the invention of Viagra men with this kind of problem just had to suffer with their ailment. Many men were too ashamed to even talk about this problem. Beside the obvious issue of questioning their manhood, there just was not a whole lot they could do about it. There was no known cure, and that was a fact. They had to face this problem with very little help from the medical world. It was no wonder that most men kept this kind of thing to themselves. Many marriages were affected adversely due to this problem, and some even ended because of it. Viagra has been a Godsend to many men who were experiencing problems in bed. The scientific name for Viagra is Sildenafil and it basically acts as an inhibitor of the enzyme PDE5. This preserves the high levels of cGMP that are produced when a man is sexually aroused. Similar products like Cialis and Levitra work in the same way, thus, all three products are defined as PDE5 inhibitors. Viagra absorbs quite rapidly in the blood stream, usually within 30 to 120 minutes. It is a highly protein bound drug (96%) which means that is will absorb faster when taken with a high protein meal. Taking it with a high fat meal will reduce the absorption rate. Pfizer is the company who makes the only genuine Viagra, and any other company who claims to make it is a fake. There are many web sites on the internet who claim to be selling “real” Viagra, but most of them are frauds looking to make a quick buck. Only a U.S. licensed pharmacy can sell Pfizer’s Viagra product, so make sure you do a little investigating about the company you plan to buy from before you make your purchase. There are many reputable companies on the internet selling genuine Pfizer Viagra through completely safe and secure web sites. All you have to do is a little research and you will get the same product you would get at your local pharmacy, but without the potential embarrassment. You will even get a better price if you buy your Viagra online than you would if you bought it at your neighborhood pharmacist, for the pharmacist selling his products online does not have to pay overhead costs (employees, building leases, benefits, etc…). Viagra is metabolized in the liver by an enzyme that is known as CYP3A4. Any one with a liver condition (like cirrhosis) who is thinking about taking Viagra must consult their physician first to discuss a customized or reduced dosage. What used to be a problem without a cure is now a problem that can be cured with a little blue pill. Men who take a 50mg dose about an hour or two before sexual activity can regain the sexual vitality and stamina that they have been missing in their lives. They can now enter that dreaded conversation at the dinner table with their spouse (about erectile dysfunction) armed with the knowledge that they have a breakthrough drug on their side that was worthy of the Nobel Prize. They can even order it at a U.S. licensed online pharmacy and have their Viagra shipped overnight to their front door by a FEDEX courier who will hand over their order in a plain-wrapped box. © 2005 copyright. Michael P. Connelly penile enlargement doctor herbal penis enlargement penis enhancement information penis enlagement photo does vigrx really work penile enlargment device best elargement exercise penis herbal penis enlargement

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Vaginal Wetness during Sex: YOU MAY BE WETTER THAN NECESSARY! Most of us assume that sex is best when wet, but are you feeling as much as you could be from intercourse? Just like a car engine, there is an upper and lower range that is required for maximum performance. Too much natural lubrication (wetness) during sex reduces pleasure for both partners. Females lose greater stimulation along the vaginal walls. Men lose out on the corresponding ‘tight’ sensation that they love. We all have an optimum level of friction that is required to enable heightened pleasure for both partners, thus leading to easier climax. This level of stimulation can most easily be obtained by experimenting with your wetness level. Sex could be much more satisfying than what you think it already is. A woman’s wetness level increases naturally as arousal increases. But for some ladies, even the slightest turn-on is enough to produce an extravagant amount of lubrication. If excess wetness is a problem for you, OR if you wish to simply experiment with different levels of wetness, seeking the most pleasurable ‘tight’ sensation for your man, what can you do? First, realize that there is more involved in sex than just the intercourse part of it. More women achieve orgasms by clitoral stimulation than by intercourse. However, intercourse is an intimate act & should be satisfying when possible. If it is not enjoyable, then a couple will more than likely become romantically distant. This is the beginning of marriage deterioration. Secondly, you should see your doctor to be sure there is no infection, abnormalities, or other problem causing your excess wetness, especially if it is something new. Don’t take chances! Medical Options: The most radical solution to excess wetness is surgery. This should be your last resort, & is rarely necessary. Other medical procedures include freezing or lasering the cervix to reduce secretions, electrical stimulation, & treatment with magnetic fields. These treatments can variously be painful, costly, & time consuming. There is no guarantee of success or that the problem will not return. Non-Medical Options: There are numerous options, but few realistic ones. Here are some common things couples try (including some “old wives tales”) & comments about their effectiveness. 1) Anything that dries up the mouth. In general, if it dries the mouth, then it will also affect the vagina somewhat. Examples would be decongestants, antihistamines, cold formulas, certain antidepressants, alcohol, cigarettes, & marijuana. While these may work to some degree, wetness & corresponding tightness levels are not controllable, not to mention that a dry mouth is not as tasty during kissing & is more conductive to bad breath due to lack of saliva. 2) Try an Alum Douche. We’ve heard of this, but don’t know any doctor recommending it. Alum acts to contract walls of vagina, but can be irritating & cause yeast infections. There’s no way to judge how long it will last nor a way to control the extent of tightening 3) Use a ribbed condom or penis sleeve. Excess wetness remains a problem with or without a condom. Penis sleeves help the man feel more, but tends to numb the woman’s vagina after a few minutes, making her uncomfortable. 4) Douche with plain water. This has some impact by reducing the amount of natural lubrication, but the effect tends to vanish as the woman’s arousal increases, resulting in secretion of even more lubrication. 5) Insert a sponge or cloth. One of the more embarrassing techniques as it must be done intermittently. Couples find this a big turn off. The technique though, is to wrap a thin sheet/towel around a couple of fingers. Insert the fingers to soak up vaginal wetness. Proceed with intercourse. Repeat as necessary. While this method does work, re-entry of vagina is difficult & painful because this method absorbs ALL the lubrication. Within a few minutes however, as arousal increases again, there will once again be too much wetness. With this method, there is no way of controlling the desired level of wetness & tightness. 6) Use of a fan blowing on the genital area. Not a practical solution, as it primarily results in making the couple cold, while having little impact on internal vaginal secretions. 7) Use of birth control pills. An old wives tale without any validity. 8) Repositioning her body. Certain positions, such as closing of the legs, act to tighten the vagina, but unless the man has a longer than average penis, he will find it far less satisfying due to shallower penetration. 9) Insert an ice cube into the vagina to cause muscle contraction. Another old wives tale, not to mention the obvious discomfort. 10) Vaginal Cones. Very similar in concept to kegal exercises. The idea here is to exercise the vaginal muscles by holding an object inside the vagina by flexing the interior muscles. Increasingly heavier weights can be placed inside. The theory is sound, but females have a difficult time staying on this type of program long enough to be of benefit, not to mention that like any muscle, if it is not continually worked, it will lose its strength. The other disadvantage is that to be of benefit during intercourse, the female must consciously flex her interior muscles, thus taking away from her ability to relax & enjoy the act of intercourse itself. 11) Creams. There are a couple of these on the internet now being marketed under many different names. If you already suffer from excess wetness, adding a cream to the existing problem is not going to help. Manufacturers say the creams have a tightening effect on the vagina within 15-30 minutes, but evidence shows that any NOTICEABLE tightening effects is minimal to none. Application of the cream to the interior walls of the vagina is difficult, embarrassing & must be properly timed to correspond with intercourse. Some of the creams contain benzocaine, alum or Vaseline, none of which are recommended for being inserted into the vagina. To check out more on these creams, look on the internet under ‘vaginal tightening.’ 12) AbsorbShun natural powder. Is an ‘all-natural’ powder that either the man or woman can apply to the man’s penis. It is simple & quick to use, & has a noticeable moisture absorbing effect within 1-2 minutes. The more powder used, the more absorption, thus allowing the couple to find (and control) their most preferred moisture & tightness level. For more information on this product, go to www.absorbshun.com Whatever option you choose, you should look for a solution that is satisfactory for both partners. Finding the right level of lubrication can lead to greater sexual pleasure, more frequent sex, & a closer relationship between partners. best elargement exercise penis truth about penile enlargement pills penile enlargement before and after picture free penis enargement exercise does pnis enlargement work penis enargement before and after photo vimax pillss inch surgical penis enlarement vigrx for men

Two thousand years of progress and the pinnacle of mankind’s achievement online is a website with photos of Paris Hilton after she was beaten by her former boyfriend. I am not an intellectual by any stretch of the imagination, but what is stunning to me is the amount of garbage there is floating around on the Internet. On any given day you are bombarded with ads for penis enlargement, hit with spyware, and receive messages from some person in Africa claiming to be a prince that wants to share his fortune with you. I recently saw an advertisement from a company telling me to click on the banner to remove advertisements on my computer. My response and yours should always the same to this bombardment of substandard waste. Run Lava Soft’s Ad Aware when finished surfing the net, try your best to shield your eyes from the ads, tell the guy from Liberia his check is in the mail, and if necessary ask the good people at the “Rhino Penis Company” how much they want. The sites I go to, when I am done with that cavalcade of gallstone inducing madness that is my email account, are the news sites. I get my news, maybe a few cheap laughs, and then I sign off. Not as exciting as say putting a stick of dynamite down my throat and trying to put out the fuse before it blows, but this kills time between classes and keeps me sharp. I never know when someone is going to regurgitate what he or she saw on the news and misinterpret it to make a point in class. You should never believe everything you read, and you should not form an opinion on something without all the facts. All because The New York Post makes things up does not mean you should either. Every website out there looks exactly the same. Almost all of the sites that I had a chance to check out were either a cheap knock off of a popular site, or the site amounted to another Norman Rockwell who took their PHP mastery or some such nonsense, gave it a sleek "look at me I'm a nerd" design, and piled on everything they thought they could that would get people to go to their site. Now you have these blogs popping up everywhere like a foot rash. I loathe blogs because most of the time it is some unqualified, blithering, teenager yapping endlessly about what they think about George Bush or waxing philosophical on such intellectual matters as whether to scratch their behind with the left or right hand. And then of course you have the blogs that just focus on celebrities and offer snarky comments that a 3-year-old chimp named Ooka could top. The media needs to stop their love affair with blogs and “citizen journalists.” There is too much danger in this flash journalism style that people will be harmed. The unfortunate events of the media misreporting the coal miner tragedy in West Virginia will happen again under “flash journalism.” It seems to me we have been on a downward spiral in terms of what we expect for entertainment and the Internet reflects our low standards. So I say go to your usual sites, stay informed so you don’t turn into a blithering blogger, and for the love of everything holy run Lavasoft’s Ad Aware or some kind of spyware protection when you are done. best penis enargement surgery natural penis enlargment technique magna rx pills vimax enlargement free penis pills sample enlargment manhattan penis herbal penis enhancement natural penis enlargment prosolution pnis enlargement pills vigrx for men

CHAPTER ONE: The Attack of the Little People: TORONTO THE GOOD: Toronto is one of the world’s most secure and wonderful cities and there are few social systems as good as we have in Canada. My name is Robert Bruce Baird and I live in Parkdale where my parents lived and where I spent the first two years of my life. Circumstances or co-incidences see me researching my books at the same library where my father read almost every book while his grandfather worked long and hard to create the union in an era when that was a meaningful contribution to society and the world. It is a new building and I am sure there are many more books. I can remember him saying he would get the librarian to bring in many books that he wanted in addition to the complete works of Shakespeare, Shaw and the Britannica. He imparted a true Joy of Learning in me that I have never lost. But I am fifty-five years old and I have given up on the materialistic society I once excelled at to the point that I was a self-made millionaire by the age of thirty. I am a proponent of a spiritual and ethical approach to matching assets and responsibilities to actualize plans such as full technology usage in the vein of Galbraith and Bucky Fuller or the Club of Rome. You might already have gathered that from the quotes I began this book with, if you know Bucky’s work. Toronto was one of the places Bucky spent a lot of time. Friday February, 23, 2006 seemed like many other days at the start. I had finished another book called Phoenician Makers of the Bible and Much More a couple of days before. I was continuing work on two other books but taking it easy as the Winter Olympics from Torino provided me with a lot of entertainment. I was thinking about when I should re-contact best-selling author Jim Marrs about his offer to do a forward for my book titled America’s Assassination and Aspirations. Jim wrote the book that the movie JFK is based on, in part. He is a long time correspondent of mine and we have both given each other some helpful research since I started writing and participating in the World Wide Web. He has said he will do this in the spring so I decided to wait until the end of March; but as you will shortly see I might be in jail at that time. After depositing my Canada Pension Plan and Ontario Disability Support Plan (ODSP) checks in the bank I went back to the Group Home I self-admitted myself to about seven years earlier. The ODSP check is for about $33. and I could live on my own and get more money from them. They pay my landlord about $500. a month in addition to my rent of $543.30. My spendable income is less than $200. a month with a tax rebate amounting to about $550. a year which I use to get my books in the market or to do research on artifacts sent to me by fellow researchers. I went to the smoking lounge to watch the Olympic coverage and to see how many medals Canada was adding to their already historic medal count. Minh the Mighty: There is a long history of activism in regards to my involvement in the Group Home or Hospital and Prison Without Walls that I live in. When I came here in January 1999 the home was owned by Mrs. Carmen Carter whose husband had died a short time earlier. He was a Seventh Day Adventist minister and leader and she is from a wealthy Jamaican family. She had been a psychiatric nurse and was on Mayoral Committees and they had donated the land that Branson Hospital is located on and the city was asking for more of the land to expand that hospital upon as I remember. Mrs. Carter said I was sent by God and other such things. At first I tired to help the mentally challenged and victimized people of the larger community. I established Bridge Clubs and Euchre Tournaments with the help of a COTA (Community Occupational Therapy Associates) worker named Catriona. I organized a newsletter and paid for the printing myself. Catriona said that her bosses liked it and they would distribute it. Habitat Services checked it out in advance and also indicated they would distribute it but the self-help and groups I was promoting created a problem for one of their Directors who had pursued his adopted son into the ‘consumer survivor’ community and these homes for over sixteen years. His son was cross-dressing and was diagnosed as having Multiple Personality Disorder. In one four or five hour session with me he opened up more than he had ever done with all his social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists during that sixteen years. I discovered someone in his family had taken lit cigarettes to his penis and other such travesties of morality. His step-father was the Director of Habitat that we were dealing with and though I never met him in person he began slandering me. The newsletter was never delivered and we stopped making it after three months. This young man had a sister adopted by the same family. This family is very wealthy and I can only imagine that they would not want this can of worms opened up given the fact that the young girl had run away and she had been involved in the sex trade. These are common symptoms of the Cycle of Violence and incest and the system does not wish to address those problems directly because parents are often the victimizer and they are the voters as well as the fact that it would be hard to help all those who have been abused. C. Everett Koop as Surgeon-General of the United States said it was an epidemic. I was involved in a personal mission to help these people in the US for at least nine years including a year when I lived with a noted Doctor of Psychology who was my ‘twin’ (born the same day as me). I eventually stopped actively reaching out to help people when various other acts of psychiatrists and hospitals made it clear I was black-flagged and they would not support my efforts. I continued to help as I could in my own home. Mrs. Carter had developed Alzheimer’s or something like that and she had sold the home to Peter and Kelly about a year and a half before the confrontation that is the cause of this effort or explanation. In the week leading-up to Minh attacking me one of the people I had helped had moved out of the house. His name is Peter Lye and he would have been able to provide me with a good witness to what happened and the police constable would have been more hesitant to do what he did if Peter had been there. I am pretty sure Minh knew this and began to try to get me at this juncture partially because Peter was no longer there. Peter had held the door open over a year earlier when I threw Minh out the door from some distance. Minh is anorexic and less than half my weight. He and his crack-smoking lover who had been squatting in his room for most of that month had forced us to take action and involve the police on more than one occasion. At that juncture Philip (his lover) had bumped me with his chest and I was about to throw him out when Minh came to his lover’s defence. So when I returned from doing my banking and started to watch the Olympics Minh came into the smoking lounge and turned the station on the TV. Minh does not smoke cigarettes and I do not know if he personally does the cocaine and crack that was often done by his male lovers in his room. A year earlier had seen the end of him going into the street and bringing as many as six lovers a day into his room as well as other thieves, prostitutes and low-lifes. At this juncture I had seen the medal update and there was nothing I really needed to watch; and even though others might have liked to continue watching and Minh had not asked for a vote – I went upstairs to work on my books and web communities. Later in the day I returned to watch the hockey game between Finland and Russia. Minh came in and turned the station and was still moving it despite my asking him not to. I got up from the couch and went to the TV. I grabbed his hand and because the TV knobs are missing and we have to stick our fingers into the holes where the knobs used to be I had to move his hand backwards rather than merely slap it away. I did not look to see what happened when I threw his hand backwards as I started to return the TV station to the game we were watching. Minh punched me in the eye from behind. I continued to get the TV onto the right station as well as continuing to smoke a cigarette in my other hand. He may have hit me more than once but am not sure when each aspect of my wounds and chucks of hair lying on the floor occurred. I do remember getting on top of him while still smoking my cigarette and him yanking a huge lock of hair from my head. I do not have a lot of hair up top but I am trying to be humorous in mentioning that. It was at this time that he stuck his fingers into my eye socket and I became concerned. I stood up and got hold of his head. I pushed his head down towards his knees and gradually got him to where I could sit on a chair even though he continued to punch at my lower extremities. I had my left hand under his chin and my right hand on the back of his head at the base of the skull or the top of his neck. He continued punching me even though he must have known I could have broken his neck easily at this juncture. There have been other incidents where I did not call the police when Minh hit me and I think he knows that I am a person who will not hurt other people unless I have to. In this instance I called for the staff person who we call Cliff to phone the police because I thought this would rise to the level of being worthy of an assault charge what with seeing my hair on the floor and knowing I was bleeding near my eye. There are legal uncertainties about what is allowable for tenants, owners and other rights including whether or not the law for hotels or motels, or apartments apply. This uncertainty had existed even when the house got good police service while Mrs. Carter paid the Benevolent Association and up to $500 a month to various police causes; while avoiding payment of duty on her American-registered Mercedes Benz with Texas plates that had been given to her when her son died around the same time her husband had passed on. Peter and Kelly refused to pay the Benevolent Association when asked to do so but there is no proof which clearly establishes the nature of the ‘protection racket’ they run. The art of SPIN and deception is not limited to journalism or politics. A TOUGH HOMBRE: When the police arrived my friend Mel was at the door holding it open for them. Melvin is a black man who served two tours in Vietnam including a black ops base in Laos or Cambodia as an aircraft technician. He became a drug addict in Vietnam but he has beaten the habit in the last four years with the help of Peter and myself as well as others. I asked the policeman if I could leave Minh in his care so I could rest after a long period of adrenaline rush and energy spent restraining his. I sat down in my usual place on the corner of the couch with the table between me and the lady cop I later learned is named Caroline. She took information including my ID from my shaking hands while I explained to the constable what had occurred. Incredibly the policeman said he would not be pressing any charges as he felt it was just a fight despite the evidence to the contrary. I explained my role in the house even though I was pretty sure he had been there before at a time when things were especially rough and a parolee who was threatening everyone had defecated on the floor in front of the kitchen door to get back at the staff. I explained that I had done everything according to what many cops and the owner thought was the proper way to handle such a confrontation but that we still needed further clarity from the courts as to the legal position we were in vis a vis the different labels that might be legally interpreted as applicable to the situation. He said I was no lawyer and that he was no “Average Joe” and preened his ego along with using words of a purple nature. I responded with the same words and told him I wanted a judge to decide and that I did not need his opinion or that of any other cop due to the established uncertainty. I also said that if there were no charges laid against Minh that would necessitate people using force to protect themselves. He said I was “Threatening”. There is a legal charge that could go along with that. He asked Cliff (Who I think had just came by and quickly left. His son had been killed in the previous two years while acting as security for a downtown bar.) for his opinion and Cliff muttered something about having nothing to say. I pointed out that the owners were not paying the ‘protection’ and that his threats of sending me to jail did not bother me. I like Jail or I could certainly say I have learned a lot in jail as you can see from my appendix number one. I probably told him about that article titled The Man Who Loved Jail which has been on the web for some time. The situation continued with us repeating our positions until he asked me to go outside. I got up and was near the door when he first laid hands on me. I told him there was no need to get physical. He continued and I braced myself on the door jambs with my legs apart. I remember his first punch to my kidney did not hurt and I remember him saying to his partner “Take him down”. I let them wail on me for a minute or more and kept saying I was not resisting arrest but rather I was insisting on it. I do not recall him asking me to go to the floor in the small room but I could see that might end the charade so I went onto the floor on my hands and knees. He pounced upon me on the left side of my body and the lady cop went to my fight and grabbed my hand which was under the table. His weight on my shoulders and neck did make it hard to breathe when I was face down on the floor and I told them I was not resisting but I would have to move so I could breath. They could not prevent me from doing any movement I wished to do. I would imagine I weigh as much as the two of them do together. I was on my back with my hands out front to the side so she could put the cuffs on and he was on top of me screaming obscenities and asking me if I could breathe better as he had both hands on my neck. I think he was trying to choke me but he was unable to do it. penis elargement video pnis enlargement penis enlargment tip penis enlargement result free penis enlargment video vigrx for men penis enlargement pills review penis enargement stretcher vigrx for men

A marvelous blue sky clashed poetically with my off-white linen attire. The sand never felt softer as it comfortably formed itself under the soles of my feet. Walking along the shore, I observed that the water was much calmer than it was the previous day. Cool and assertive, it therapeutically surrounded my ankles. Wind and air were the next elements. This time, it was the contours of my face that benefited. My feet, ankles and face were all being seduced by earth's finest elements. What could make this dream fresco perfect? Caravaggio painting the scene? I settled for the next best thing. A scantily dressed sensual lady showed herself as she jumped into my arms. I was set. With one eye open I could see a thick blanket of frost had designed itself on the window of my bedroom. "Dreams can be so cruel," I thought aloud, as I clamored out of bed. The second my foot hit the wood floor, my knee reminded me that it was indifferent to sultry dreams about a sexy girl, sand, water and air. It was damaged and no amount of natural voodoo hocus-pocus was about to fix them. After many weeks of ignoring the truth, it had become glaringly apparent to me that it was time to go under the knife. Conventional medicine beckoned! I sat like a bump on a log in the examining room. My mind occupied by the fact that I was being yanked out of regular school and sent to prep school. I wasn't a very reliable student. Just as I was about to pull out an apple from my pocket, the doctor walked in. He asked two questions and said, "That's an ACL tear." "What's an ACL?" I meekly asked. "You're anterior cruciate ligament. You see, the ligaments that run…" I tuned out as he began to rub his knuckles together to explain how the ACL functions. "Oh." "Let's check you out." Medically speaking. He took my leg and placed it between his arm and chest and began to push and bend the leg towards me. "Feel that?" "Yes." "That's your ACL giving way," I tried every way to weasel my way out of it. I asked the specialist if it could be rehabilitated through physiotherapy. That sound you hear is the exaggerated laugh of my doctor. Once he regained his composure he said curtly, "No. Judging by my examination it's completely torn." I tore it nine times. That was that. More impressively, he accurately deduced all this without the benefit of a MRI. I was 18 years old and already washed up. A soccer player has-been before it ever began. Nonetheless, if I wanted any shot at an active life the knee had to be sliced open, stapled and stitched. My decision was made. While wearing those girly gowns I had a choice of a full anaesthetic or an epidural. Italian or Ranch? "What's the difference? I asked. "Under a full anaesthetic you are asleep throughout the surgery. With an epidural we freeze from the waist down. You can witness the whole thing," the doctor explained. I decided to go for the epidural. Ring side seats to my own repair. All I was missing were some peanut M&M's. "Ok, Alessandro. Here we go. It's the right knee," the doctor tells the nurse. What? It was the left knee! Is he mad? "Kidding," he said. I was not amused by his childish wink. The anesthesiologist was young and talkative. Reading my chart he asked, "Nicolo? Do you have a sister?" "I have two." "What are their names?" "Maria and Giovanna." "Maria! She went to Laval Catholic High School right?" "Yes. So did I." "Wow. I knew her. She was going out with Joe, right?" "Yeah. She married him. Not to sound like a smart ass but I'm about to lose a knee here and my ass is exposed." "Ha, ha. You're sister was pretty funny, too. Ok, here's how this is going to work. I need you to curl up and place your head between your knees. Whatever you do, don't move. It can cause spinal damage. Ok?" "Got it." I cracked. I looked back. I saw the needle. It was as big as a lobster. I fainted. "I told you not to look back." "I know. Sorry." A nurse came over and held my head down. I was now injected. "Pretty soon you won't feel a thing." "How will I know?" "You won't feel your penis," Dr.Seinfeld interjected. "Yeah right" Within minutes he asks, "So, can you contract your penis?" I tried. Boy did I try. I even burst some capillaries. My eyes turned purple I strained so hard. For some reason my fear entertained the nursing staff. I began to wonder what life would be like without the use of my penis. I secretly began to panic. Alternatively, I always dreamed of making love to a nurse on an operating table. Not today. "Ok, Alessandro. You can watch the whole thing on the screen up above and to your right. Sit back and relax." Just then he raised my leg. It didn't look like mine. It was orange and listless as he manipulated it however he saw fit. The iodine made it looked like road kill. I fainted. "Are you going to be ok?" "Yeah, no sweat." "Ok," the doctor said unconvincingly. Lying back on my elbows I was sure the worse was over. So I fainted twice. Big deal. Until…. I swear there was blood everywhere. Like that scene in The Shining where Danny sees the twin girls. A flood of blood buckets. The nurse handed the doctor a tiny square shaped cloth to apply on the incision. I fainted. I could overhear the doctor say, "Give him a sedative." It was just what the doctor ordered. I never felt so composed in my life. I don't remember much about the surgery but I do remember him pointing to the torn ligament. It looked like a torn Kleenex. Soon the doctor proclaimed, "That's it. We're done." A couple of weeks later I visited the doctor to check up on my wound for the first time. The knee felt extremely tight and my leg had been reduced to a mere twig-like limb. He began to remove the bandages. I felt woozy. Finally, he reached the knee. One look was all it took. I fainted. My mother looked at me as she handed me a glass of water. "You're such a wuss." It took months of rehab, but fixing the knee gave back my athletic life. I was active once again. Psychologically, I'll never be the same but there is no doubt that if one plans to lead an active life surgery is a necessity when it comes to the ACL. When I tore my right knee16 years later it took me seconds to make my decision. On the operating table the anesthesiologist suggested an epidural. I chuckled and said no. I wanted to get out of there with some dignity. I may have even dreamt of that sweet girl as I frolicked with her on the beach. Needless to say, I didn't faint.