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The following is from the beginning of a short story by the same title. Read “Author Bio” to learn more. **** I was recently doing a search in Google to find a website that would confirm my suspicions about a Tele-huckster—a pet peeve of mine to which I am hopelessly addicted. One thing led to another and, yada yada yada, before I knew it, my flat screen monitor began flashing a string of sexually explicit pictures in brilliant pulsating color. It was an X-rated pop-up extravaganza; one I was unable to keep up with. I clicked frantically trying to close one close-up invasion after another. The bombardment continued on until it ran its course, eventually reaching some kind of worldwide web adult abyss that even the internet could not crawl below. As I cleaned up the dirty debris I so innocently spilled—well maybe not that innocently—I was struck by my good fortune. Thankfully, the internet came along decades after my early teen years. Had this stuff been around in the Sixties, I might still be squirreled away in my attic room to this day, trimming the hair on my palms while mumbling incoherently to my seeing-eye dog. On the other hand, learning the whereabouts, general appearance and overall purpose of female parts would have been a heck of a lot easier, not to mention more timely. Instead, my sex education was really the collective result of a hit or miss operation. At the time it was torture, but I don’t know, there was something funny about it too. And it all started at my local summer recreation center, Carteret Park ... **** “What did Roy Rogers say to Dale Evans in the bedroom when the lights went out?” Mud Finnegan asked a rapt group of adolescent boys sitting around a long wooden table at our local summer hangout, Carteret Park. He was about twelve years old, a year older than I and several years older than most of the kids sitting on the benches—that was age-wise but he seemed a generation older than all us in every other way. Mud looked around, working the table like a seasoned Catskill comedian. No one dared answered his question because it really wasn’t a question at all. It was an obvious lead-in to the punch line of another classic dirty joke; besides, no one had a clue as to the possible answer—no one that is except Moon Muller. “I know!” Moon yelped in a lame attempt to impress the guys, as if he was really in the know. “Shut up! You don’t know crap!” Fitzy snapped back, warning that one of his patented headlocks might be coming Moon’s way if he didn’t keep his big trap shut. “Do too!” Moon fired back in a surprising show of bravado. “Are you two f’in jerk-offs through?” Mud, as only Mud could do, used the “F” word with a certain artistic flair. He painted masterpieces with four letter words no differently than Monet did with colors from a pallet. Having regained the attention of his fickle audience, he continued to close the deal. “Do you f'in dick heads wanna hear the f’in joke or doncha?” His eyes got wide and kind of crazy looking, one eyebrow climbing higher than the other. Of course, we wanted to hear. Everyone settled down. He waited a moment, knowing timing was everything; then, delivered the goods. “I’ll turn on my flashlight if you turn on your headlights.” A flash of universal vacant thought swept across the sea of open jawed faces, like the eerie stillness before a tornado strikes, as our feeble brains scrambled to “get it”. Then, as if prompted by an audience monitor, an explosion of rip-roaring, doubled-over laughter swept around the table. Ah … Mud sure could bring it home. Making it all the more incredulous was that most of us struggled to understand the punch-line. But we knew enough to laugh because that always bought us time to figure it out. Mud proudly acknowledged his success with a wide grin, while he waited for us to wipe the tears from our eyes, boogers from our noses and drool from our chins. He was on top of his game. Being the veteran performer he was, he launched into an encore with another doozey about some lost traveler asking some guy who is with a woman how far is “The Old Log Inn”; you can guess the answer. Another eruption of roaring, clueless laughter followed. Another tidbit of carnal information revealed. That was my introductory class to sex education in the Sixties. We weren’t taught concepts like “private parts”, and never heard of or cared much for formal words like “penis” or “breast” or “vagina”. Our language was narrow and practical; “logs” or “rods” and “headlights” or “cams” were all we knew or needed know to communicate with each other. Regarding “vagina”, only a few guys with older sisters had even the slightest notion of what that might be; most of us were under the delusion that girls had simply broken their logs off at birth; possibly by accident or through carelessness. So all we had were Mud’s dirty jokes, and embellished stories of older sisters spied on or caught in some state of undress. It was all a forewarning of things to come. I mean we understood the direct symbolism of certain words to body parts and innately found the sophomoric humor in using such imagery in the context of a joke. But underneath it all we started to sense that there was more to this than met the eye, something sinister. As we’d soon come to discover, there sure was! penis enlargment tip buy vigrx penis enhancement tool penis enargement fact pnis enlargement picture penis elargement technique penis enlargement without pills male penis enlarement penis enlargment pills
Most men have been there at one time or another. That moment when total sexual exhilaration turns to pure panic and fear...fear that the "little astronaut" out on his moon walk has lost his space suit. Fear that the knight is no longer wearing his shining armor. The number one reason that condoms break or slip off during the horizontal mambo is that the Johnson in question was not properly suited. Like shoes or bras, careful consideration must be given to condom size. Yes, all men are created equal — but in very different shapes and sizes when it comes to the trouser department. And while it may not be the size of the wave that floats your boat, when it comes to choosing a condom, your size does matter. RESEARCHERS AGREE A recent survey by Durex Condoms revealed that the length of an erect penis can range from four to nine inches, while penis widths can vary from just over one inch to more than two inches. The Durex study also found that 50% of the almost 3,000 survey respondents felt that the condoms they regularly used did not fit properly; 25% said the condoms were "too tight," 10% said they were "much too tight," and 15% responded that the condoms were "too loose" or "much too loose." Not surprisingly, 42% of those surveyed indicated that condoms should be "better shaped." A whopping 44% of those surveyed reported they had experienced condom slippage or breakage problems in the past. The Durex study concluded, "Given the wide range of penis sizes and the relatively narrow range of condoms designed to fit them, it is perhaps unsurprising to find that 50% of respondents felt that the condoms they use did not fit them properly”. The answers provided also indicate that condoms which don't fit properly are more likely to break during use..." Another study performed by La Trobe University in Australia examined the effect of penis dimension on the probability of complete condom slippage and/or condom breakage in actual use. A total over the course of the study, 16% of the men experienced at least one instance of breakage and 19% experienced complete slippage. The study concluded that condom breakage was strongly associated with penis circumference, particularly for men with above-average girth. In fact, each additional centimeter of penis circumference beyond the average 13.19 cm increased the risk of breakage by 50-100%. Like the Durex study, the researchers concluded, "This finding suggests a need to increase either the range of condom sizes currently available or the [girth] of currently available condoms.” of 3,658 condoms were used by 184 men. ERECTION REJECTION It is no secret that many men dislike wearing condoms. Some Men say that condoms interfere with sex, "get in way," or "kill the mood." Most of the time however, these problems arise because the man has difficulty putting on the condom, or is concerned that the darn thing may slip off. If a condom is difficult to put on due to size issues, the little soldier may suddenly be unable to stand at attention. A survey conducted by the University of Sydney, Australia found that two-thirds of the men surveyed reported they "sometimes" or "often" lost their erection while trying to put on a condom. Of course without an erection, a condom is impossible to put on at all. While many men struggle to put on ill-fitting condoms that are too small, many others experience anxiety that the condom may slip off their slimmer girth. This anxiety can also interfere with the ability to keep the flag at full mast. Condoms that are too loose increase the odds of slippage or leakage. Paradoxically, one of the most common reasons condoms slip off is because they are too tight or too long — if not fully rolled down, the ring at the base can enter the man's partner and be dragged off. Condoms that are too short also increase the risk of exposure to STDs. When condoms are too tight, breakage and slippage is more likely to occur, and sensitivity can be significantly diminished. The reality is that condom size is very important. Unfortunately, unlike penises, most condoms around the world today are made in a very narrow range of sizes. In fact, the overwhelming majority of condoms does not refer to size at all, and simply are marketed as a "one size fits all" product. While a few companies like Trojan have shown some sensitivity to the size issue by producing some larger sized models, very few such products exist, and even fewer are available for those needing a snugger fit. Millions of men continue to struggle with the "one size fits all" mentality that the condom manufacturers apply to condom size, often leading to very unfortunate results. Given the inherent difficulties in measuring customers to ensure a more tailored condom fit, condom producers simply continue to force round pegs into square holes. That’s why to fit a condom effectively and snugly, you have to up your size. Visit Penile Enlargement Blog For More Advice. penis enlargement tip penis enlargment pills review penis enlarement product penile enlargement pills best penis enlargment surgery penis girth elargement pnis enlargement before and after photo penis enhancement review penis enlargment pills
Breast implants are medical devices that typically consist of a silicone elastomer shell filled with saline or silicone gel. The first silicone breast implants are developed by two plastic surgeons from Texas: Frank Gerow and Thomas Cronin. The implants are textured silicone bags and can be filled with saline, which is salt water, or silicone gel and they are smooth or textured silicone bags that can be round (dome shaped) or breast shaped (anatomic). Shaped breast implants are designed to reflect the slope of the breast. The breast implants are usually quite successful at making the breasts larger and fuller. And just about 80% of breast implants are for cosmetic reasons. If your doctor tells you that breast implants are proven safe, ask for a copy of any report that studied women with implants for at least 10 years. There is strong evidence that both saline and silicone breast implants can cause local complications including swelling and gel leakage. One study says silicone breast implants do not cause systemic illness. Like silicone breast implants, saline implants consist of a rubber like silicone shell. It should also be said that studies have shown that most women who get breast implants are happy with the results. Breast implants are considered by the FDA as medical devices and if the FDA approves silicone breast implants, many young women will get them. While this is not a final approval, it does mean that the FDA may soon allow silicone gel breast implants to return to the US. Silicone breast implants were removed from the market in 1992, and recently reintroduced. Health Canada has lifted restrictions on silicone breast implants, giving two manufacturers permission to market their products in Canada. The background is that silicone breast implants have been linked to a variety of illnesses, the most controversial of which are connective-tissue diseases and symptoms. One should also notice that there has been a great deal of controversy regarding the safety of silicone breast implants but they have been marketed in the United States since 1963. The Canadian government has now reversed a partial ban placed more than 14 years ago over health concerns linked to silicone breast implants. New research suggests that silicone breast implants could be replaced by tissue grown from a person´s own stem cells within a decade. What are the risks with these implants? Well, some studies indicate that women with cosmetic breast implants have a significantly increased risk of suicide. A long-term study suggests that cosmetic breast implants do not increase the overall risk of getting cancer. Although breast enlargement is a simpler form of surgery than other cosmetic breast procedures and complications can occur. The risk is about 1% but if it occurs the implants will have to be removed. There is a very slight risk that breast implants may rupture during a mammogram and the longer you have an implant, the greater the risk it will leak or rupture. As it now is the most commonly performed cosmetic operation not performed under local anaesthesia the results are very good. As with any surgery you should have a comprehensive, informative and understandable consultation with the doctor performing the surgery. That is crucial.